


Reunion

by Saraphinethemysterious



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 14:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5500472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraphinethemysterious/pseuds/Saraphinethemysterious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season two where Clarke has joined a small grounder clan while she tries to learn to forgive herself for the deaths she caused. Little does she know this group of natives is just an extension of the main and finds herself having to confront Lexa one day when the commander comes for a routine checkup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> If this gets enough kudos, I'll write more. :)

For a villiage of less than 200 people, the med bay is strangely always busy. Sure the one in the drop ship was always busy but that was back in a time of war. Things have calmed down since the fall of Mount Weather and I have determined that grounders are just naturally reckless.

I shouldn’t say it like that; I’m basically one of them now.

After leaving Camp Jaha I traveled for a while until I came across a boy in the forest with a spear through his leg. It was an accident while training and I helped him. When his people came they were cautious at first but saw my intention was only to help and thanked me for that.

They gave me a bed and as days passed no one urged me to leave—so I stayed.

I’m their main healer (others slightly trained in medicine come and go but this is my fulltime job) and their medbay isn’t even that. It’s a tent with a long, wooden table in the middle for the wounded to lie on. It’s stained with blood and dim inside, but it works well enough.

I wouldn’t say things are good. They’re manageable and I’m working through my problems slowly so that one day I can go back to my people. Hopefully I’ll still have a place there, when I do.

Until I can get to a better place with myself, I’m here.

I wrap up wounds and listen to people protest and say they’re “fine” as I do so. Occasionally I get a broken bone or sprained something and things get interesting but most of the time, it’s a bunch of self-righteous big guys or kids that refuse to believe their wounds can get infected.

Otherwise the people are kind and respect me despite knowing who I am. I want to keep it that way and just be invisible for a while.

Of course if that’s what I want it’s exactly the opposite of what I can have. That becomes clear to me when I’m rounding the corner of the med tent one day and run right into the person I least want to see.

After rebounding from the impact my vision clears and I’m able to see her, and her, me.

“Clarke?”

I want to run. I never want to see her again and now I have to not only see her, but speak to her. I hate it and I want to get away, but there’s no escape. Instead I greet her, “Lexa.”

She looks the same as when I last saw her and I know she’s not thinking the same about me.

My hair is different and the dark circles under my eyes have only grown in last few months. I hold myself differently too. The war is over for now and I am left with the damage it has done to me. That takes a toll on appearance as well as it does my mentality.

“Why—how are you here?” She’s surprised and confused at the same time which is why she stutters. Still, I have never seen her do that before and it’s somewhat endearing. I’m one of the few people who can make the commander forget to keep her composure.

I bite my lip and avoid her questioning gaze. I’m not as confident as I was all those months ago. Especially now that I’m a guest in a village that I now know is under the command of the woman who left me for dead. “I’m not quite sure how to answer that.”

She knows I’m avoiding her and doesn’t like it. From the corner of my eye I see her expression and am surprised to find it’s not anger; it’s concern. She looks to the two guards on either side of her and tells them to leave her. As hesitant as they are, they listen and soon we are alone.

She motions me to follow as she walks into the healing tent.

I keep my eyes trained on my feet as I move inside and hear the flap of the entrance close behind me. It’s silent for a moment and I know Lexa’s staring at me. I can feel here gaze examining every inch of me over and over.

After a few minutes of that I decide I won’t keep standing there like prey. I was once as close as could be to her equal and I won’t let her think I’ve become weak like I may seem to be.  Besides I’ve been on my feet all day and I want to sit.

So that’s exactly what I do. I look up and make direct eye contact with her as I walk over and sit on the blood covered, wooden, table. I think I have the upper hand. Then she goes and does something that takes that thought away.

She lets her guard down.

Lexa slouches and takes small strides as she moves to sit next to me on the filthy excuse of a surgical table and it’s dead silent.

I don’t know why I do it. Maybe it’s because we both seem so vulnerable in the moment or because I think she deserves know. For whatever the reason, as we both sit there in the dim tent, I tell her everything.

Every single thing from the moment she left on that dreadful day comes pouring out of my mouth and when the time comes I don’t hesitate to say it.

“I killed them, Lexa—every single one of them.”

She doesn’t tell me that I did the right thing or that I did what I had to do like a part of me thought she would. Instead she just sits and listens to me as I speak and refuse to let the tears in my eyes fall down my cheeks.

When I’m done she hugs me. I’m surprised enough that she does it but even more so when I realize she’s not doing it out of pity. Lexa is hugging me like it is her duty to do so.

That’s when I know the truth.

She feels sorry for me and she is sad that I had to go through that because she left.

She blames herself.

As I hug her back, my nose goes into the crook of her neck and I finally feel the tears falling onto her skin.

She holds me tighter and I hear her so quietly whispering into my ear, “I’m so sorry.” And she says it again as she pulls away from our embrace.

“I’m so sorry, Clarke.” I go to interrupt but she stops me. “No, just listen for a moment.”

I bit my lip and train my eyes directly on her as she does on me. “In the time that we spent, I tried to change you when in reality I should have let you change me. Only when we I had left you for dead did I realize the mistake I made and was too late to correct it. I thought you weren’t strong because you have emotions but emotions do make you strong. That’s how your people have stayed together for so long while different grounder groups go to war each month because of things like what I did in Tondc.”

“I’m sorry, Clarke. I’ve ruined anything good your people and mine could ever have because _I_ was the weak one.”

“You were trying to save your people.” I bite my lip as I speak. “They’re your responsibility and I understand that.”

That’s all I can say. I can’t forgive her and I can’t say I would have done the same thing because that is a lie. After what Lexa just told me, I can’t lie to her now. I can only tell her I’m healing but having her here with me—well it’s made healing a whole hell of a lot easier.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a whole paragraph planned to put here but it doesn’t seem necessary anymore. I’ll just say that if this gets enough kudos I’ll write more. Thanks guys. -Saraphine


End file.
